If you know me well, you know that I have trouble with silence. Words, tapping, strange sound effects…I’ll use whatever it takes to fill the empty void in a conversation.
It’s funny, because lately, the enemy has been using silence all over the place to drive me nuts and awaken these dumb fears and insecurities. Since I’m an over-sharing, over-communicating creature, I think it’s a real weak spot for me. I send an email, or a text. Silence. Maybe they don’t care? Maybe I said something wrong? I ask a question. Silence. Maybe I’m bothering them? Maybe that’s a stupid question? I post something on Facebook, or on my blog (I hate admitting this). Silence. Ahhh! Maybe my words don’t make sense, or people think I’m crazy, or I shouldn’t have talked about that!
And it’s beside the point that usually all of those lies are simply, truly lies, because really, the core issue here is — What’s really at stake anyway? Shoot! What if I do say something wrong? What if I do embarrass myself? What if I do mess up? I’m pretty sure I can trust in the faithfulness and kindness of God to cover me…and I can even trust that He’ll give my friends grace to extend over my mistakes as well.
Phew. I feel better now that it’s been said out loud. Haha. No wonder I hate silence.
And speaking of silence, please forgive me for my blogging-silence these past several weeks! It’s partly due to a busy schedule, but mostly, I think it’s because my linguistic skills are overspent on learning Thai right now! I’m taking lessons twice a week, studying every day, and trying to speak…whenever I have the courage to! Loving, loving, loving it…but my English writing output has been pretty pathetic since. Strrrange.
Anyway, here are some highlights as of late and things you can pray about if you happen to think of me! God is absolutely blowing me away with new opportunities and such clear affirmation that I am where I’m supposed to be. Praise His Name!!
- The past few months, I’ve been attending a new church called Life Center. It’s a young church plant started by a passionate and God-loving couple from Sweden. It’s mostly made up of younger, Thai people — a lot of them university students and most of them new Christians. I am crazy-excited to be a part of their ministry here, and I can’t WAIT to see what God is gonna do!
- God has given me favor by bringing me SO much encouragement as I try to learn Thai. I feel like every time I try to use it, I battle with fear. I know I’ve just started studying hard core, but I am praying for 1) a supernatural ability to pick it up quickly! and 2) patience and a teachable spirit, as I stumble through learning.
Everything is possible with God!
- The transition. I truly don’t know what God has planned for me beyond next year, but I have a deep conviction to commit myself here and to give Him free reign to use me as He pleases. SO, I’ve decided it’s time to sell my car and try to empty out my storage in Puyallup, hopefully by this summer. It’s maybe harder for me emotionally that anything, but I take this step in faith, and I know I don’t need tangible “roots” in order for God to bring me back someday. Please pray for the logistics with all of this, and for a heart at peace.
And if you know of anyone interested…please let me know!!
Love to you all, whoever you are reading right now. Thanks for letting me…break the silence! 🙂