“But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent?” -Romans 10:14-15a
I always hoped that life was kind of like a game board, where the only direction to really go…is forward. But the more I live, the more I realize we’re given choices all the time, and that some of the best choices we make really do come at a cost.
I think sometimes we resist the thought of God actually asking us to give something up, like me and my choice to move here. I kept thinking, if I do my time overseas, then God will bring me back to Washington and let me live my life the way I envisioned it. I thought I could have my cake and eat it too, ya know? Come to Thailand for two years, be a part of God’s bigger, worldwide agenda…and then go back and live my “normal” American life. And the thing is, I was totally right. I could have. But like my pastor back home used to always say, “Too often we settle for good things, when God is offering to us what is great.”
So if you haven’t heard, I’m staying. Not just for one more year. Indefinitely. I’m staying until God tells me to leave. And at this moment, the question of “when” doesn’t even exist in my mind. (So you don’t even need to ask, because I don’t know! 🙂 )
For so long, I’ve been trying to hold onto some ounce of control. I realize now that my plans to return to America were always more about control and stability than anything else. By staying here indefinitely, I’m letting go of “life as I knew it” — for good this time — but more than that, I’m forfeiting my rights to plan my life, to have a say, to know what’s ahead. And why not? Why not submit fully to the plans and purposes of God for my life? Of course it comes at a cost, everything worthwhile does. But God’s plans are good and perfect and better; they’re always better.
We serve an amazing God, and I am honored to give up the life I wanted and exchange it for the life He’s holding out to me. Let’s live fully, radically, and recklessly for Him.
P.S. As you can see, I’ve finally jumped on the band wagon and joined wordpress. I think it’s better. Please change your links if need be! 🙂